


Chapter 13: Caning.

by Snowy_Owl00



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Bruises, Child Abuse, Corporal Punishment, Discipline, Gen, Klaus Hargreeves Deserves Better, POV First Person, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Spanking, Umbrella Academy - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2019-12-18 16:27:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18253574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snowy_Owl00/pseuds/Snowy_Owl00
Summary: An excerpt from Vanya Hargreeve’s book “Extra Ordinary,” in which she discusses the disciplinary methods her father used to raise the Umbrella Academy.





	1. Intro/Luther

Chapter 13: Intro 

Everyone knew what “it” was. You never had to say the word, “it” was enough, as long as you said it in the right voice. “It” alone could bring fear to our childish hearts, get everybody to suck in a sharp breath. It felt like Dad heard our every word, so “it” was only discussed in hushed whispers and shameful heads. 

“It” was a caning. 

None of us ever said “a caning” aloud. We couldn’t stomach it. Dad was everywhere, he could hear us. Sometimes I wondered if he could hear our thoughts as well. You couldn’t hide anything from him. 

Funnily enough, it was the canings that made me feel most connected with my siblings. Like I was one of them and not the distant “other.” Painful and humiliating, but this is what brought us together.

When one of us got a caning, everyone would wait and listen in front of Dad's office. Pogo and Mom would both try to shoo us away, try to distract us, but it was impossible. We had to witness it. Now that I’m older, I wonder if it was a form of protection for the punished or a deep seated sympathy that glued us to the ground. 

-1-  
Everyone hated Luther for one solitary reason: he had never been caned. That fact alone was enough to bring a grimace to even Allison’s face. Why did he get to escape it? 

This only intensified his golden angel, oldest sibling status, who stood on a pedestal and looked down upon us all. 

Every time Diego got caned he would become upset at Luther for at least the following two days. 

And the truth is, it’s not like Luther really was this perfect goody two shoes, he did make mistakes. Sometimes he could be brash and too quick to judge. Sometimes he needed to be knocked off his high horse. 

But the reason he never got caned was because he always felt sorry for it later. Dad would yell at him, berate him in front of all of us, and Luther would nod his head and agree. He didn’t need to be caned because he already listened to what Dad said. 

Once Luther and Diego got into a fight. They were outside, bickering loudly as heavy rain fell around them. I think we were nine. 

Drenched to the bone in our school children outfits but we couldn’t tear our eyes away. 

“Guys, you should really stop. Dad’s going to get mad.” Ben mumbled, arms crossed as he stood behind Klaus. 

Klaus, meanwhile, was laughing and screaming, “Fight fight fight fight!” 

Luther threw the first punch, right after Diego shoved him harshly.

“Luther stop!” Allison shouted, but it was too late. 

Luther has already stopped, because he felt something funny behind his punch. Diego staggered backwards, holding his face. 

From beside me, Five rolled his eyes and sighed. “Only one punch? Not worth the wait.” He never said the right thing. 

“Diego?” I screamed, running towards him. My schoolgirl Mary-James almost tripped under the mud. Everyone else was frozen in place. 

When Diego let go of his face, blood stained his hands and around his nose. In fact, his nose looked a little funny. 

“Diego broke his nose! Diego broke his nose!” I cried, tears slipping down my cheeks and joining the raindrops. I always cried at moments like this, when no one else was crying. 

I remember that Dad appeared almost supernaturally quickly. Maybe time stood still, all of us standing there not knowing what to do. 

They both got sent to the little hospital style room, harshly interviews during the whole time. Even though Luther threw the only punch, and Diego’s nose got broken, Luther got scolded while Diego got caned.

Even as children we knew that simply wasn’t fair. And we all hated him for it.


	2. Diego

-2-

It isn’t easy to be second in command. You get just the slightest taste of respect and authority, but it’s never enough compared to the one in charge. Even then, I don’t think Diego handled the role very well. 

He always compared himself to Luther, always wanted to be better than him. It didn’t always work out. In Dad's eyes, it made him insubordinate. And that earned him canings, lots of them. Almost as many as Klaus’. 

He couldn’t just obey an order, he had to do it better or differently. Ohh, and he argued. Argued and argued until you got sick of it. 

In fact, that reminds of the “Big Mistake.” That’s how we referred to Diego’s, well, big mistake. By the way we said it, you could just know that it was capitalized. If I had to guess, I’d say we were eleven. 

It was an art theft, if I remember correctly. Beautiful little Van Gogh. You see, as usual, I wasn’t there for their crime fighting. So all of this is according to Five. Not so sure how credible he was. 

I was in the living room, practicing violin before bed. My bedtime was 8:30, even though the rest would often stay out until early morning. It was just one of the millions of discrepancies, and I just tried hard not to notice. 

Mom was there, watching my posture and the way I held the bow. She had a big bright smile on her face, and told me how proud she was. I almost stopped playing because I smiled too. 

In those moments, I forgot that she wasn’t a real person. Even then, I didn’t care. She always made me feel important, and she always listened to me play when the others were away. 

Everything was so calm, so quiet. Just me and mom, while Pogo was probably in the kitchen. 

Then the calm shattered like a glass mirror. From across the floor, I could hear the big heavy doors swing open and then the march of tired children. 

I gently set the violin down and peeked out the doorway. 

Dad had Diego by the shoulders, and from my distance I could see that he was gripping hard enough to bruise. Dad was mad. Visibly so. I had never seen him actually exhibit any emotions like that, he was always so stern and cold. 

Everyone else was murmuring not so quietly to themselves and looking so worried. I struggled to see Diego’s face, until he turned his head ever so slightly towards me. 

He looked like he was trying very very hard not to cry. He put up a brave face that didn’t look so convincing. And then, Dad, still gripping him tightly by the shoulders, marched him into his office. 

I couldn’t handle it anymore, and I slipped out to join the others. Mom called after me to come back and finish my practice, but I simply couldn’t. I had to know what was happening. 

I tapped Five on the shoulder. “What happened?” I whispered.

Before he could answer, the first strike caused each of our heads to whip back towards the door. Like clockwork, each one of us at the same time. After that, a muffled cry. 

Five looked to me, his face even more somber than usual. “Diego messed up. He was supposed to go capture the henchmen who were fleeing the scene. That’s what Dad told him to do. Instead he tried to go for the painting, which was Luther’s job. It messed up the timing and all of them got away.” Five winced at the next strike, it sounded so much harder. 

“Old man’s gonna beat him black and blue.” Klaus mumbled, rubbing at the crusty dried blood on his eye brows. He always got more hurt than the rest of them. 

“Deserved it.” Luther said under his breath. A shame we all heard it.

“Shut the fuck up.” Five hissed, flames in his eyes. Not counting Diego, Five hated Luther’s status as Number One the most. He always thought Luther wasn’t smart enough to be leader. And sometimes, too arrogant. 

“Don’t let Dad hear you, or you’re gonna get It too.” Ben murmured, eyes still glued to the door of the office. In fact, we all couldn’t tear our eyes away from the door. 

“Oh, God.” Allison exclaimed in a whisper after another harsh stroke fell. If you listened close enough you could hear Diego crying. Diego was never one to cry, he was usually pretty strong. 

It made my stomach turn to think that this caning hurt enough for Diego to cry. It made me want to cry too, but then the others would all make fun of me. Why am I crying, I’m not the one in trouble?

I don’t know how many times Diego got hit with the cane that time, but it felt like an infinity. It seemed the blows would never end. So when they finally seemed to come to a stop, everyone scattered half heartedly. 

The door to the office opened, and out came Diego, his face flushed and his eyes glimmery red. He walked funny when he stepped out, but didn’t say a word.

All he did was give Luther a nice long glare.


	3. Allison

-3-

Not everyone can tell when their sibling is going to end up famous. Maybe it’s because you know them the way the rest of the world will never know. 

You see them getting into fistfights, mouth full of toothpaste, over who stole their favorite flavor of dental floss. It’s hard to see them as a super celebrity that way. 

Still, somehow we all knew Allison was going to be famous. And not just the kind of famous that the rest of the Umbrella Academy was, she was going to go far above that level. We knew she was going to become a Kardashian kind of celebrity before the Kardashian’s were even a thing. 

You need a certain something to become a celebrity, and she was the best liar I’d ever met. Even if you discount her powers. She didn’t have a single tell, no lip biting or sideways glance. Calm and collected as she lied to your face. I guess that’s what makes a good actress. 

Didn’t always make a good sister though. She could lie her way out of anything. And sometimes, it meant that she could avoid being punished for the same thing everyone else did. 

Allison and Klaus used to be closer than they are now. Maybe only because Klaus liked to put on skirts and makeup and Allison was the only one he could get those things from. He liked to feel pretty, and Allison didn’t judge him for it like Luther did. Luther would mumble about how Das wouldn’t approve. And he was right. 

I remember when Dad found out how Klaus had been dressing. It was a quiet rainy Sunday. I was sitting cross-legged on my bed, carefully tuning my violin. 

A tiny little twist on the knob, a pluck, a twist, a pluck. 

I winced at the too sharp E string when all of a sudden, loud blasting pop music blared from next door. I would never be able to tune it now. 

I opened Allison’s door and peeked in. No Doubt’s “Just a Girl” was on full volume as Klaus strutted down the room. His eyeliner was a little sloppy and his neon pink feather boa a little stripper-y, but his face had a big grin. Allison laughed and clapped, shouting “Do it again!” 

I don’t think I’ve ever seen Klaus that happy. It made me smile too. I clapped in time to the music as I leaned on the doorway. 

Beneath the twang of Gwen Stefani’s voice, I heard a creak. I turned my head just enough to see Dad approaching down the hallway, umbrella swinging in his hand. 

“Allison!” I whisper shouted, but it was too late. Dad stopped at her room, probably to tell her to put the music down.

What caught his eye was his middle child dancing in a dress to girly pop.

Klaus got in BIG trouble that day. I’ll never forget how he cried and cried and cried. He slept in Ben’s room that night. That was the only way he was able to stop crying. 

Allison? When harshly questioned if she let him wear her clothes, she lied. Looked her adoptive father in the eye and said, “No Dad. He stole my clothes and I tried to stop him.” So she got off free. 

Klaus and her were never close anymore after that. 

Oh, she could definitely lie, and got away with it almost every time. But using her rumor outside of jobs, that was strictly forbidden. She could manipulate reality, and Dad never let her use it in the house. 

Only once did she try. 

It was the new movie, Pride and Prejudice, that she wanted to see. She always did love a good romance movie. 

The family had already fallen apart by then. Ben had died and Klaus had run away for the 5th, but final, time. Five had been gone for years. 

After Klaus ran away and didn’t come back anymore, we weren’t allowed to leave the house. What if we all ran away, what would he do then? 

But Allison wanted to see that movie so bad. We were already 16, she could have driven herself if she was allowed. 

But Dad gave her an adamant, unmoving, no. 

So like any self respecting teenager, she sneaked out. 

Went in for an 11 o’clock showing. I remember wanting to go with her, but she didn’t want me. She wanted Luther to come with her, but as Dad’s favorite, he simply couldn’t. 

We’re still not sure how Dad found out. He had been in his bedroom the entire time. None of us snitched, Grace was recharging, Pogo was asleep. 

But at 12:40, he walked down and waited for her at the door. She got the scare of her life when she slowly opened the door to see Dad standing there, cold and stern. 

She instantly began yelling at him, which was when Luther, Diego, and me crept down from our bedrooms, watching the scene from the staircase. 

She shouted that it wasn’t fair to be locked up like a prisoner, how no other teenager in the country had to live like this. 

Dad ignored her yelling and grabbed her by the wrist, stating “To the office, Number Three.” 

Diego and I shared a wide eyed glance. She was gonna get “It?” She hadn’t been caned in years, she could always lie her way out of any situation. 

“No, it’s not fair! I don’t deserve this!” She shouted, struggling away from his grip. “I,” she paused, and we could all hear the consideration in her voice. 

“I heard a ru-“ 

An ear splitting slap rang throughout the big empty room. 

Everyone froze, and all of a sudden everything was silent. None of us had been slapped in the face like that before. 

And then the moment passed and Dad pulled Allison into the office, slamming the door shut. 

A bruise lasted on her left cheek for a week.

It was then that we learned that Allison could get away with a lot of things, almost anything except for rumors.


	4. Klaus

The middle child spot can be unpredictable. Sometimes the middle child can be the most sane out of their family, be the most reasonable, the most logical. They learned what life was like by observing the antics of the older siblings and the younger siblings. They become balanced, responsible, self sufficient members of society. 

Or sometimes they end up like Klaus. Needy for attention he never receives and dysfunctional in every aspect of his life. I don’t think his powers helped either. His powers were in his head, nothing big and flashy, or more importantly, visible. 

Klaus lived for the attention, it never mattered if it was good or bad attention. In fact, very very rarely did he ever receive good attention. 

To make up for the lack of visible powers, he was the loudest, the most disrespectful, the most rebellious, the worst behaved. 

Ben always stuck by his side, oftentimes becoming his silent partner in crime. But we all knew that Klaus needed more than Ben, he needed Dad to look at him and be impressed for once. 

Klaus got caned the most out of all of us. He never obeyed, mouthed off at every opportunity, and flat out refused training. Even worse in Dad’s eyes, he could make us laugh. Laugh when he called Dad “Uncle Pennybags,” directly to his face. What was Dad afraid of, that Klaus’ jokes would incite mass mutiny? 

No one ever thought it was fair to hear Klaus crying as he got caned twenty times for a joke. 

I remember a period of time when Klaus was about eight, and was getting a caning every other day. The most he ever had was three in the same day, all for different offenses. 

I don’t think Dad ever really succeeded in breaking his spirit. Not for lack of trying. 

In the morning, Klaus didn’t want to eat. He always tried to skip meals, and even when he couldn’t, he would just pick at his food. It explained why he was so skinny. 

I still remember, it was toast and eggs. Klaus hated the smell of eggs, he still does to this day. 

“Eat your food.” Ben mumbled from beside Klaus. He always did try to stick up for his brother and keep him out of trouble. We used to joke that Ben was Klaus’ conscience.

“Eggs are gross. And I don’t want toast.” Klaus muttered, examine his fork carefully. A little grin sneaked onto his face. 

“Klaus.” Luther warned half heartedly, but it was too late. 

Klaus catapulted the fork towards the wall, enjoying the clinky sound it made when it hit the floor. 

At the sound, Dad finally looked up from his journal. It felt like that book was glued to his hand, it never left his person. Whenever he was engrossed in the book, he was dead to the rest of the world. 

“Oh look. He’s alive.” Klaus exclaimed dramatically, making a grand gesture with his hands. 

We couldn’t help it, we snickered along with him. Except for Luther, of course. Allison even managed to crack a smile, even though she usually like to follow what Luther does. 

“He’s gonna get it.” Five whispered from next to me. Only one look at Dad’s expression could tell you that. 

I pushed my bangs away to get a better look, then nodded in agreement. Dad looked cold. 

In front of me, Diego picked at the eggs with his fork and whispered, “Idiot shou-shou-should have known it wasn’t worth it.” He was right, Dad was going to beat the shit out of him. 

Dad folded his hands. “Is there something wrong with the food, Number Four?” God, was that a loaded question. Even the way he said it, he was just asking for Klaus to give him sarcasm. 

Given a bit more time, I’m sure Klaus could have come up with some stellar material. He was a little under pressure though. 

“Yes, there is something wrong with it. It’s gross. I’d rather eat dog shit.” Klaus didn’t look as scared as he should have been. Oh, he definitely knew what he had coming. I don’t know how he decided it was worth it. 

Dad made a sound that was almost like a growl before abruptly standing up and grabbing Klaus by his shoulders. “Office, now.” 

Sometimes I wish I had an ounce of the bravery Klaus had when he looked Dad right in the eye, no fear at all. 

“D-dumbass.” Diego mumbled as they walked out of the room. 

“Do you wish to say something, Number Two?” Dad snapped, turning on his heel to face Diego. 

Diego was brave too. But he was also smart enough to put his head down and say no. 

Once the door of the office closed, we all stood quickly to head there as well. 

Looking back, I think it’s funny how we all stood at the same moment, how all six chairs scraped against the floor in perfect unison. 

“I think it’s perhaps equal parts dumbass with equal parts brave.” Five declared, breaking the ugly silence as we all waited in front. .

“Hmm, I don’t know. Maybe a little moron in there too. A dash of idiocy.” Allison murmured, arms crossed, a frown tugging her face into a scowl. 

Nobody liked it when Klaus got caned. He cried too much. Our obnoxious loud middle child, but we wanted to protect him so bad. 

“I told him to listen.” Ben mumbled forlornly. He did his best but Klaus was determined to misbehave. 

After what sounded like muffled lectures and Klaus’ disrespectful responses, it finally began. 

Everyone winced at the same time. It sounded very whippy, which meant something according to the most-caned of us children. 

“Which one’s he using, do you think? Maybe the yellow?” Diego hated to hear how Klaus yelled after every stroke, so he always tried to fill the silence. 

Five furrowed his brow, listening carefully after the next strike. “No, it’s so sharp. Gotta be the red. It stings like a bitch but doesn’t leave anything long lasting. ” 

“Of course you know.” Luther commented, rubbing at his eyes. He wouldn’t admit to it, but even he couldn’t stand listening to Klaus shout in pain. 

Sure, maybe he was being dramatic. Putting on a show. But it never felt like that. It sounded like a skinny little kid getting beaten.

“No one asked, Luther.” Diego snapped. Very often everyone wants Luther to shut up m. 

After that, it was all quiet. Just the sound of strikes and screams. 

I always felt sick when Klaus started crying and shouting out sorry. My stomach hurt and I wrapped my arms around myself in a little self hug. 

I felt a few pats on my back, and looked up to see Five doing his absolute best to comfort me. He could be horrible at connecting with other people, he was always impatient and irritated. But him and I?— we got along just fine. 

“When’s he gonna stop?” I whispered, settling a little closer into Five’s arms. I looked up to keep the tears from spilling out down my cheeks. 

I always counted how many times they got hit, I don’t know why. They had already passed fifty. 

“I don’t know, Vanya.” Five sounded distraught as well. How much longer could Dad go?

Dad was trying to break him. Get him to stop fighting, stop yelling. Eventually, he just got tired of it and gave up. 

The strokes finally finally finally stopped and Klaus was shoved out the room. He looked an absolute wreck, his eyes were red and his forehead had a sheen of sweat. His lip was bruised where he had bit on it to try to stop screaming. 

Somehow, he managed to crack a smile, give the ok symbol, and say “Totally worth it.” 

And that was only the first caning, two more were get to come. And it wasn’t even 9 o’clock yet. 

It was after lunch that Klaus decided to put his ass on the line again. It was a fill in the blank quiz on Biology. For each of the ten questions, he wrote down “Fuck.” 

Yes, of course it was hilarious at the time. The quiz got passed around the room and we all laughed. Really though, who else had the balls to do it?

That caning was a little shorter. Dad has to get back to training the rest of the Umbrella Academy. 

But Klaus started crying much sooner. It was only the third stroke or so before he began to bawl. I always thought it was so odd that even though he could cry and cry and cry, he was never really broken like how Dad wanted him to. 

This time, when I heard Klaus cry, I couldn’t help but cry a little too. I sniffled as quietly as I could and scrubbed the tears away with the back of my fist. 

God, he could be annoying. He would untune my violin all the time. Sometimes he’d let spiders loose in my room. At least once, he threw a worm at my face. But I never wanted to hear him cry. 

The third time was horrible. He had refused to participate in training. When they prepared for a race around the house, Klaus sat on the gravel and said no. 

No. Right to Dad’s face. He was ridiculously sore but decided another caning couldn’t be worse than racing a block. 

Everyone gasped quietly when Dad led him to the office for a third time that day. We didn’t think Dad could even have it in him to do that to Klaus. 

This time was different. He didn’t cry. It made us wonder if Dad was even hitting him at all. But, the sound was too distinct. 

Not a single sound. And this third caning was also the longest. Or maybe it just felt like that. 

When Klaus walked out, he staggered. Ben ran to his side and helped prop him up. Klaus didn’t look like Klaus anymore. His eyes were glazed over and didn’t make eye contact with any of us. He looked like he wasn’t inhabiting his body at the time. 

Ben didn’t even bother taking Klaus to his own room, he directly took his older brother to his room instead. We all followed Ben, who was quietly taking the lead. None of us knew what to do. 

Ben gingerly laid Klaus on his bed, to let him rest on his stomach. 

The next morning, Ben whispered to us in the hallway that Klaus’ entire ass was purple. Bruised beyond bad. 

And it was then that Dad decided to start using the mausoleum as a punishment as well as a training tool. The pain didn’t hurt him anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> Haha, having a little fun with this one. Umbrella Academy is my current obsession, so I decided to start off a mini series (emphasis on the mini.)


End file.
